Confession #7

Confession #7: I am inconsistant.

Seriously. I'm pretty sure my roommates hate me at the moment. So let's just a round of applause to my best friends who graciously live with my crazy self! From 9am to 12am I have gone through about 6 different major life choices. All of them contradict one another, of course. Can I afford to go to Italy over summer? This was the biggest question of the day. If you had asked me at 1pm, I would have said "No, no. It's financially wiser to wait and go later." Ask me the same question at 4pm, and I'll tell you: "Oh crap! I need the credits to graduate! I have to go!"

I'm sure if you're reading this, you most likely think I'm ridiculous because it's not that hard of a decision to make. But like anything else in life, I somehow manage to turn a small thing into a major crisis. At some point during a 10 minute span, I will involuntarily stress about a factor in my life, whether it's my job, school, living situation, dating, etc.. and I let it take over. Stress can run my life. As an American college-kid, it's so easy to be swept up in the present and swallowed up in the future, while all the while trying to forget the shame of the past, and I FORGET WHO I AM. I let something, whether it's a man, a friend, a desire, or a dream, hijack my thoughts, and I lose myself in them. I plan. I organize. That's who I am.

How to change it then? Well, I might start off by drinking a Grande Salted Caramel Mocha. Then, I'll sit down and watch the newest episodes of (don't judge me) Once Upon A Time, The Walking Dead, and (my favourite of all time) Downton Abbey. The next day, I wake up exactly the same, except maybe feeling a little paranoid that zombies will invade Atlanta.

Right about now, a still, small voice comes, and it tugs at my spirit, saying "Emily... remember, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes... but seek first his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well."

Do not worry. Do not be anxious. I have to tell myself every day to give it up. Because there is not a single reason to worry. My future is protected and prosperous; my present is vivacious and vibrant; my past is forgiven and forgotten.

So, this means that I won't worry about my Italian test coming up, or my impending living situation, or even the rare event that zombies might invade Atlanta. Because I am precious and held dear by someone far greater than anything on this earth.